Working With Parents and Families of Exceptional Youth
Knowing how to piece of work with parents of students with special needs is but as important every bit knowing how to help the students. Robin Hartman, educator and female parent of a son with Autism, says, "I know I am a hard parent to deal with which is why I thought I would requite some tips on how to deal with the parents of children with special needs because we are super sensitive almost our children." Read her story below where she lays it all on the line and shares her concerns, fears, and respect for those teachers who make a departure in the lives of students with special needs.
by Robin Hartman, Guest Author
As I accept education courses, I feel myself at odds with some of the information because I await at things as a parent. I look at the needs of my kid start, even when sometimes his needs could hinder the bookish progress of the class by causing disruptions. Nonetheless, as I parent, I view his disruptions every bit an indication that his needs not being met. Granted, this is an result considering this places no responsibility on the child for non choosing the appropriate behavior. I also realize I tend to find mistake with the teachers simply because I probably could have or would accept handled the situation differently. Even so, I can honestly say that the teachers have helped me immensely with raising my child with Autism. It has taken me awhile to trust their judgment.
Originally, I failed to remember that the instructor has a office, they are a specialist in the field, and my kid is not the only student he or she is dealing with in the classroom. The teachers are there. They take the total picture of the situation. But, as a parent, I will also look at things every bit though my child, because he is my child, volition exist the most important educatee in the instructor'south classroom.
I know I am a difficult parent to deal with which is why I thought I would give some tips on how to deal with the parents of children with special needs because we are super sensitive virtually our children.
8 Tips for Working with Parents of Special Needs Children
1. Open up communication before a situation arises.
As a parent, I volition not trust a teachers' judgment until I get to know them. I view myself every bit being on the teacher's side once I know the person. But if I see them as a stranger who is being hateful to my babe at our first meeting, there may be a problem. If I have to come up to the school considering of my child'south inappropriate behavior or their lack academic successful and this also happens to be the first time I have spoken directly to the teacher, I am not sure whether my child is at fault.
Also, if I take to come to school to address a particular situation I was completely unaware of, I would experience that I should have been contacted before the situation became a huge consequence for anybody, before the situation has crippled my child's grades or hindered your classroom'southward behavioral compliance.
I am the kind of parent that likes to hear updates about my children every bit much equally possible. I want to know what he or she is struggling with, what they are excelling at, and what they are enjoying. Remember, sometimes the communication from the teacher is the only window into the kid'southward school day considering children with special needs (well fifty-fifty typically functioning children) exercise not share information nigh their mean solar day with the parent.
two. When opening up communication, always start with a compliment about their child.
Parents will not go tired of hearing how awesome their child is. A instructor should never begin the discussion virtually how the student is struggling with decoding and compliance until he or she has given an overview of how absolutely adorable the parents' kid is and maybe even showtime with a cute story.
I always enjoy hearing little funny stories almost my child, especially if it is something that I can identify as his behavior only never experienced that item situation. This helps me know that the instructor knows my child and found his behaviors a refreshing gift, something charming and cute, rather than a strange abnormality that needs to be trained out of him.
For instance, he once yelled at his instructor for not writing their math textbook. They were non sure why he got upset near it but he was convinced she was stealing. She had to talk him through the state of affairs, explaining how teachers guild textbooks for the classrooms that anybody uses based on the district's curriculum to insure that anybody learns the same material.
Considering I teach writing courses, I call back he overheard a discussion I had most plagiarism.
I knew that based on the story, the teachers could handle him and truly loved him. They showed true patience with the situation by talking him through the logistics of his assumption; however, someone else may take merely silenced him in order to motion ahead.
3. Do non tell a parent to teach the kid to behave.
I always work with my child's school to make sure there are at dwelling house consequences for inappropriate schoolhouse behavior. Make sure you piece of work with a parent to institute some blazon of communication and consequence arrangement.
Telling a parent but to talk to your child about this or that behavior is non advisable. It shows that the teacher did not deal with the situation, cannot deal with the state of affairs, and believe the parent tin magically with a simple discussion make the child human activity accordingly when the parent is not present.
I am a pretty good parent, but I do not have that kind of dominance over my child when I am not nowadays. Many parents with children with special needs volition struggle connecting the talk or correction with the inappropriate school behavior that more than likely the kid cannot recollect demonstrating. Do not leave every correction up to the parent. The teacher needs to exist given the dominance to right the child's behavior. Reminding and connecting the at dwelling consequence with the behavior at schoolhouse while the child is illustrating that particular behavior helps quite a flake. Thus, the teacher has the authority over the state of affairs. The parent does not step in to have to accept care of the situation.
Also, when asking a parent to bailiwick their child it could also imply that the instructor feels disciplinary deportment are being made at home. As a parent with a special needs child, you lot would not imagine how horrible people can exist nigh my child's behavior. I feel the looks when he acts up. Unlike other disabilities, yous cannot run across Autism written across my child's face up, and while I am happy that disability is not what people immediately run into when they expect at my child, some adults do not sympathize with what I am going through at first glance because a melt-down looks and so similar to a tantrum. Many people, from a altitude, but see a bratty child throwing a fit because a parent fails to parent. Parents of children with special needs are treated like this all the fourth dimension; people fifty-fifty become vocal near their disapproval of other parents. Teachers should avoid the "parent your kid", "make them behave" bandwagon advice pile on.
That does not mean parents should not be open to advice well-nigh how to deal with a item hard situation. But expect for a parent to ask. I accept learned so much well-nigh when it is and is not acceptable to baby or condolement my child and when to be stern in order to push him to consummate tasks that are new and frustrating.
4. Brainwash the parent.
If you are helping parents understand their kid's disability, it is helpful to make certain they have access to enough of information: handouts, websites, reading material or lists of reading recommendations about the disability. Think, y'all are a professional with vital data.
It would also help to remind the parent about your expertise, what y'all studied, your qualifications, your teaching experience, and so forth. While you exercise not need to go into your whole resume, it is helpful to remind a parent their child is in strong, capable, well-educated, and well-experienced hands. I have recently gotten into the habit of asking the educators their background. It makes me feel ameliorate.
Also, know that someone outside of education is not fluent in the same terminology. I call up how inept I felt being at a teacher coming together hear the educating team discuss ARCs and IEPs. It is helpful to explain the mutual concepts that you know that are new for the parent. Information technology makes us feel in the loop and a part of the educating team.
5. Never mention medication!
A teacher may have experience with like children merely he or she should never directly country that someone'southward kid needs to be put on medication. If yous recollect the child should exist on medication, you need to request a advisor/specialist who will observe the child and make the advisable recommendation.
That does not mean that medication is off the table. Just go through the appropriate avenues and show the parent the accommodations and behavioral interventions y'all take tried and the multiple observations made by various specialists before coming to the decision that medication is necessary.
The request for medication should never come directly from the teacher because the parent will feel like y'all practice non want to bargain with the child; you just want the child to close up and stop being a problem.
6. Never mention new labels.
That is bang-up that the teacher has an understanding of disabilities. But make sure the teacher does not mention five or 6 new disabilities which will exist used to label their child. Many disabilities take like traits.
For case, my kid is Autistic; he is not depressed. He is having self-esteem bug now that he is old enough to perceive his differences. He does not have Advertizement-HD; He does not want to focus on the writing consignment because he struggles with decoding and he is getting frustrated almost that. My child is not Oppositional Defiant. If my son is refusing to do his work, there could have been a intermission in his routine, something could have happened with another pupil or maybe the grade is loud resulting in his desire to shut down.
Practice not effort to diagnosis or RE-diagnose a child. A parent will eat you alive. I know I would.
7. NEVER make a joke nearly a person's child and always use the advisable language.
This should be a given only I would like to address this situation anyway because I one time had a person ask if I talk. I did not understand what she meant at start because her question was so incredibly strange. She laughed and went on to say that she wondered if I talk considering my son did not. She was not a teacher, and I would prefer non to land her position as to non stereotype those in her situation. I fabricated certain I understood whether she was aware of his disability before getting upset.
This is when I discovered that some people are skeptical that disabilities exist. Based on ignorance or stubbornness, they do non see that other people are different if they do not wait different. They just see a bad kid who will non beliefs. When making jokes about someone else, it only shows the person's ignorance and lack of compassion.
Showing compassion in the language besides helps. Try to avert stereotyping a beliefs and using terms similar "That's Aspy" or "A Downs Child" because it shows that the instructor defines the kid by their inability. Become in the habit of using kid starting time linguistic communication similar kid with Autism, Student with special needs, and child with Down syndrome.
viii. Continue the child around capable and trained individuals: teachers, substitutes, bus drivers, educatee aids, administration, and volunteer parents.
I like to meet every single person who has contact with my child, because I have a fear that someone will exist hateful to him, someone will not talk to him accordingly, or they will say something that he does non understand and expect him to comply with instructions that do not compute. Fortunately, his educational activity team surrounds him with the most empathetic people.
When there is something that gets him upset, his educating squad and I try to figure out the function of his behavior which includes an overview of anybody he works with, when his behavior inverse, and who observed it. I am comforted that every person he has contact with understands his triggers, works with him to keep his day smoothly transitioning, and they all dearest him. I put him on the passenger vehicle each solar day knowing that no authority effigy volition hurt him, dismiss him, or cracking him.
Source: https://blog.reallygoodstuff.com/8-tips-for-teachers-for-working-with-parents-of-special-needs-children/
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